The midterm chronicles: A sarcastic expedition into the world of academic absurdity | The Triangle

The midterm chronicles: A sarcastic expedition into the world of academic absurdity

Photo by Lucas Tusinean | The Triangle

Welcome to the thrilling saga of the “Midterm Chronicles” at Drexel University, where the aroma of coffee competes with the stench of impending deadlines, and where students embark on a fantastical journey through the Land of Academic Absurdity.

In this riveting tale, picture yourself: an unsuspecting student, armed with textbooks and caffeine, stepping into the chaotic realm of midterms. Behold the professors, masters of cryptic inquiries, who toss questions your way as if plucking them from a cosmic lottery: “Prepare for the unknown,” they say as if uncertainty were an appetizer before a main course of confusion.

To navigate this topsy-turvy adventure, students are encouraged to find solace in the magical powers of highlighters and flash cards. Because, of course, nothing says “I’m ready for this exam,” like neon ink and scraps of paper. Counselors, those mystical beings, offer profound wisdom such as “Visualize success” and “Imagine your stress floating away,” as if acing a midterm were a matter of manifesting hard enough.

Finding a study spot in the library becomes an epic struggle akin to claiming the Iron Throne. Desks and power outlets are holy treasures, and students engage in fierce battles armed with laptops and snacks, hoping to decode the secrets of the universe (or at least understand why the WiFi won’t cooperate).

But fear not, brave souls, for this chaos emerges the time-honored tradition of the caffeine-fueled all-nighter! Students, with their eyes resembling crimson stoplights and their sanity hanging by a thread, delve into the abyss of study guides and lecture notes. It’s a desperate attempt to shove an entire term’s worth of information into a sleep-deprived brain because, clearly, that’s the recipe for success.

In this realm of academic lunacy, time loses all meaning. “Midterm week” stretches endlessly, blurring the lines between reality and nightmare. ’Is it Week 5, or have we slipped into an alternate dimension where midterms never end?’ students ponder, their existential crises deepening with each passing moment.

Yet, amidst the madness, a peculiar camaraderie blossoms. Strangers exchange knowing glances in the library, silently acknowledging the shared misery. Professors, too, revel in the chaos, lacing their lectures with phrases like, “This might be on the midterm, but I wouldn’t bet my coffee on it.” Laughter tinged with a touch of hysteria echoes through the halls as students bond over the sheer mind-boggling absurdity of it all.

So, dear scholars, buckle up for the Midterm Chronicles: a sarcastic roller coaster ride where brilliance and madness intertwine, and common sense takes a vacation. In the grand carnival of academia, midterms are the sideshow that never ends, and the real adventure lies in surviving the ordeal with your caffeine addiction intact. Here’s to hoping your pens are mightier than confusion and your senses of humor are honed greater than a freshly sharpened pencil. Onward, to the triumph of surviving another round of academic madness!