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I’ve decided that I don’t believe in the moon | The Triangle

I’ve decided that I don’t believe in the moon

I’ve decided I don’t believe in the moon.

Well, let me rephrase that—I believe the moon exists, I just don’t agree with what everyone else has decided is true about it. Honestly, I think it’s pretty likely that the moon is a perfectly flat, two-dimensional object floating in space. I don’t think it’s a sphere, I don’t think it’s really 238,900 miles away and I certainly don’t think anyone could physically go there.

“Oh, but what’s your source? Why would the moon be flat? Everyone thinks the moon is round!” My source is me—the only source worth listening to. I have personally observed that the moon has an unchanging pattern on it, which leads me to believe that it’s not a three-dimensional object, as it would otherwise spin. People tell me it’s “tidally locked,” which to me sounds like an excuse that’s more coincidental than scientific. You expect me to believe that the moon “just so happens” to spin at the exact same rate it orbits the Earth? Hilarious.

Look, everything anyone has ever learned can be placed into two categories: things you heard from someone else and things you found out for yourself. As a matter of fact, it’s pretty likely that most things people know belong to that first category. After all, it’s not like anyone has the time to go and personally verify every news story and every scientific paper they read. I can personally verify that the Earth is round through time zones and the angle of the sun, and I have. I can personally verify that the moon is an object that I can see, and I have. There is nothing I can personally do to verify that the moon is round (which it isn’t) without physically going there (which I can’t).

“But people have been to the moon! They could tell you that it’s not flat!” Really? Out of the 12 people who have ever (supposedly) been to the moon, only four of them are still alive today. Statistically, none of them are ever going to read this article, so none of you can tell me with absolute, personally-verified certainty that the moon is an object that exists in this dimension (which it doesn’t).

You believe the moon is round because someone told you it is, who in turn believes it because someone told them, and so on and so forth. It’s all just a house made of playing cards, each held up by the flimsy belief of another. Be like me! I’ve decided that I can believe whatever I want to believe, just by denying that other people could ever be right. I win by default!

I think next week I’ll decide that birds didn’t exist until 20 years ago, and something really crazy, like that vaccines don’t work or that masks don’t protect you from COVID-19.