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Ask Ethel: Bored Barb | The Triangle

Ask Ethel: Bored Barb

Dear Ethel,

I’m going to be honest, life in the bedroom has gotten a little dull. It’s become nearly mechanical and very predictable. Everyday, the moves are the same, the feelings stagnant. What should we do to spice it up?

Thank you,

Bored Barb

 

Bored Barb,

Boy oh boy, do I know how this one goes! Back in the day, when I confessed to my betrothed that I was craving more excitement, he suggested role playing as Peter, Paul and Mary! I’ll let you guess the role he was pining for…Anyway, it’s essential to remember that the problem you’re having is no fault of your own, nor of your partner. Nay, couples all over the world are experiencing the same sexual monotony. Do you know why, my goose? Trans-generational trauma stemming from the Irish potato famine. Yes, people all over the world are getting blown by the historical waves of the fear of never being able to raise nor eat a potato ever again! What you must do is conquer the trauma instead of letting it own you. When you are in the throes of a wretched flashback, find something that can be even remotely arousing. You know, I have heard that a potato is a hidden aphrodisiac. Makes sense, after all. Now, hop back in the saddle and mate-r with your tater!
To no land left barren,

Ethel