Let's Ask Andy
Confused? Need Answers? E-mail AskAndy@thetriangle.org
By: Andy Kabel
Issue date: 6/29/07 Section: Ed-Op
Originally published: 6/28/07 at 11:51 PM EST
Last update: 6/28/07 at 11:51 PM EST
Originally published: 6/28/07 at 11:51 PM EST
Last update: 6/28/07 at 11:51 PM EST
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Your not funny
Andy,
I just had to ask, why are you so lame? Its like you stay up all night and get your jokes fresh off the Jimmy Kimmel Show. Your "hilarious" replies make me want to slam my head into the door of the bathroom Im reading this in. The ask whoever part of the paper is supposed to be the most entertaining part, and you just eat it trying to be funny. Nice picture by the way. [sic.]
-Philip
You know, it's interesting you say that. My Cub Scout leader once asked me this exact question, and like then, I don't really have an answer. I'd like to tell you that I'm sorry that our small independent college newspaper has caused you this much distress. To preserve your mental and, I suppose, physical health, why don't you consider doing something else while using the bathroom? May I suggest working on that grammar and punctuation?
-Andy
Size Matters
Andy,
I need your help. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost eight months. He treats me really well and we get along great, but I'm just not "feeling it" anymore. I want to be honest with him and tell him how I feel, except that if we broke up I'm afraid I'd lose him forever. He's my best friend and I couldn't see my life without him. Is it hopeless?
-Elaine
Honestly Elaine, you're a small fish in a big pond. Why not put things on hold and see where they take you? There are always chances you'll meet someone you feel for even more. That is unless you're actually a big fish in a big pond. Then you might have some problems. You know, finding another big fish, or maybe one of those smaller fish that are really into bigger fish…
-Andy
Famous Friends
Andy,
My best friend wants to be a singer and she is really good. I'm afraid that when we grow up, she might become famous and not remember me. What do I do?
-Beth
So you're concerned about being left behind in obscurity, huh? Not without reason. You sound pretty annoying. As a matter of fact, when I hit it big and got my own column, I cut myself off from my friends completely as well. The only people I call "friends" now are the people that bring me my Arby's or my Teen People magazine. "Best friends" if they bring both at the same time.
Andy,
I just had to ask, why are you so lame? Its like you stay up all night and get your jokes fresh off the Jimmy Kimmel Show. Your "hilarious" replies make me want to slam my head into the door of the bathroom Im reading this in. The ask whoever part of the paper is supposed to be the most entertaining part, and you just eat it trying to be funny. Nice picture by the way. [sic.]
-Philip
You know, it's interesting you say that. My Cub Scout leader once asked me this exact question, and like then, I don't really have an answer. I'd like to tell you that I'm sorry that our small independent college newspaper has caused you this much distress. To preserve your mental and, I suppose, physical health, why don't you consider doing something else while using the bathroom? May I suggest working on that grammar and punctuation?
-Andy
Size Matters
Andy,
I need your help. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost eight months. He treats me really well and we get along great, but I'm just not "feeling it" anymore. I want to be honest with him and tell him how I feel, except that if we broke up I'm afraid I'd lose him forever. He's my best friend and I couldn't see my life without him. Is it hopeless?
-Elaine
Honestly Elaine, you're a small fish in a big pond. Why not put things on hold and see where they take you? There are always chances you'll meet someone you feel for even more. That is unless you're actually a big fish in a big pond. Then you might have some problems. You know, finding another big fish, or maybe one of those smaller fish that are really into bigger fish…
-Andy
Famous Friends
Andy,
My best friend wants to be a singer and she is really good. I'm afraid that when we grow up, she might become famous and not remember me. What do I do?
-Beth
So you're concerned about being left behind in obscurity, huh? Not without reason. You sound pretty annoying. As a matter of fact, when I hit it big and got my own column, I cut myself off from my friends completely as well. The only people I call "friends" now are the people that bring me my Arby's or my Teen People magazine. "Best friends" if they bring both at the same time.
is a member of the 
name.
posted 7/31/07 @ 5:13 AM EST
andy, you really aren't funny.
like, at all.
sorry.
do your studies and shut it.
kindly,
everyone.