Avoid death: Read this Philly sports guide

By: Brett Fischer

Posted: 9/20/07

If you're just starting out college and if you aren't from the Philadelphia area, you probably aren't fully aware of the impact that the four major professional sports teams have in Philly. No, ping pong and ultimate checkers do not constitute major professional sports, no matter how fun they are to play.

Here is a quick rundown of the four big pro sports teams and a guide so that when you attend a game in the near future, you will be able to make it out of the stadium without getting shot or having acid scars from all the batteries people threw at you.

Phillies

Philadelphia's favorite baseball team, the Phillies, are once again in playoff contention in what has been one of the closest National League Wild Card races in years. Unfortunately for the Phils, they have not made the playoffs since 1993 - the same year they lost the World Series to the Blue Jays when Joe Carter hit a walk-off home run.

The Phillies have last year's MVP Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, the best offensive second baseman in the majors, Jimmy Rollins, arguably the most productive leadoff hitter in baseball, and a run-scoring offense that is just deadly to opposing pitchers.

No matter how many runs the Phillies are down, they always have a chance to come back and win.

As a matter of fact, as of September 19, the Phils lead the Major Leagues in come-from-behind wins with 46.

You might start thinking that this may be the Phils' year, but don't get your hopes up just yet.

A typical season for the Phillies is to start the season off with a poor record, then take the lead in the Wild Card sometime within the last two months of the season. They usually finish off the year at about 10 games over .500 and one or two games short of a playoff berth. Once again, they will probably be in playoff contention until the last day of the season.

With only one World Series title (1980) in their 124-year history, you may be thinking to yourself, "Well, at least the Phillies aren't the worst baseball team ever."

However, if the team with the most losses is labeled the worst team in baseball, then you are mistaken.

July 15, 2007, the Phils lost their 10,000th game to become the first North American professional sports franchise to lose 10,000 games. On the plus side, the Phillies can say that they hold a record that no other North American team has.

If you're interested in going to some of the games, the Phillies play at the beautiful Citizen's Bank Park, which just opened in 2004.

76ers

Philadelphia has not won a major professional championship in about a quarter of a century. The last time any team won was in 1983, when the 76ers, Philly's basketball team, won the NBA Championship.

The 76ers used to have one of the most exciting teams in the NBA. They were tremendously respected when they had players like Eric Snow, Aaron McKie, Matt Geiger, Theo Ratliff and the once lovable Allen Iverson.

But since Iverson was traded to the Denver Nuggets, the general interest in basketball has certainly declined. The Sixers have had poor drafts, (including this past one despite having three first-round draft picks), they don't have many exciting players on the team (excluding Andre Iguodala) and they struggle to make the playoffs or finish with a .500 record year after year.

They've only had one winning season since 2003 and the when they actually made the postseason in 2005, they were embarrassed by the Detroit Pistons and lost in the first round of the playoffs 4 games to 1. Prior to 2004, the 76ers made the playoffs in five consecutive years.

Out of the four major Philly teams, generally speaking, fans have the least passion for the 76ers.

The Sixers play at the Wachovia Center.

Eagles

The most popular team of the bunch is the Eagles, Philadelphia's football team (at least when they're winning).

The Eagles have won three NFL Championships, which isn't half bad. But in today's society, only Super Bowls matter. As of this season, the Eagles have a big fat goose egg in that category.

Who knows? Maybe if the Bill Belichick didn't spy on the Eagles in Super Bowl XXXIX, Donovan McNabb would be wearing a Super Bowl ring on his finger.

The Eagles have certainly had their share of chances to win a Super Bowl. From 2001-2004, the Birds made the NFC Championship game four consecutive years. The fourth of those years in 2004, they finally made the Super Bowl, but couldn't find a way to be the Pats.

With quarterback Donovan McNabb and running back Brian Westbrook, the Eagles instantly have one of the most threatening offenses in the NFL.

They also like to blitz a lot on defense, so they usually give up lots of yards overall, but they force a lot of turnovers.

The Eagles are trying to win their sixth division title in seven years.

It's difficult to describe an Eagles football game at Lincoln Financial Field. Just a piece of advice: if for some reason you aren't an Eagles fan, don't wear the opposing team's jersey at the game.

This is probably a general rule of thumb for all Philly sports, but specifically Eagles games. Don't try to be a hero and understand that if you do show enough support for the opposing team with a jersey or paint, you will get killed - even if the opposing team you are supporting is the Texans.

Oh yeah, and if you wear a Cowboys jersey at a football game, the fans won't just kill you; they'll kill your family too.

Flyers

One thing that used to be consistent about the Flyers, Philadelphia's NHL team, was that they would always make the playoffs; but last year, the Flyers had the worst record in the NHL.

Determined to turn things around, the Flyers had a busy off season, signing Daniel Briere, the former co-captain of the Buffalo Sabres, to an eight-year, $52 million dollar contract, giving them the much needed No. 1 center that they have lacked since trading Peter Forsberg. They traded for Jason Smith, Joffrey Lupul and Kimmo Timinen giving them a much more balanced team.

So why would you want to attend a Flyers game, let alone any NHL game?

Whether you attend to get a feel for the passionate fans, the incredible atmosphere or to appreciate the art of hockey, Flyers games are like no other hockey games in the country. The Flyers experience is on a different level than the rest of the NHL.

The Flyers won back-to-back Stanley Cups in 1974 and 1975 over the Bruins and the Sabres respectively. They haven't won a Stanley Cup since.

Like the 76ers, the Flyers play in the Wachovia Center.

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The best thing about attending any of the home games is that you do not need a car to get there. To visit Lincoln Financial Field, the Wachovia Center or Citizens Bank Park, use the subway and take the Market-Frankford Line eastbound and transfer at City Hall, which is at 15th Street. Then take the Broad Street line toward Pattison and stay on until you get to the final destination, Pattison. Once you exit the subway station you will be in the vicinity of all the professional sporting venues.

After attending a couple games you may ask yourself, "What does it take to be a true Philadelphia fan?"

One day, you'll know you are a true fan if you did at least two of the following things:

You put all your heart into a team, only to have it shattered into a million little pieces. By the way, this needs to happen multiple times - in every sport.

You bet a minimum of $1,000 on Philadelphia winning the championship of their respective sport. In a sense, it's akin to donating $1,000 to Vegas.

You yell E-A-G-L-E-S chants - at an Orthodox Bar Mitzvah service.

You bring a mini television with you to watch the game at a funeral.

You cry every time you hear or see the name "Mitch Williams" (If you happen to reread this article in eight years, you better be crying).

You pelt Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny and J.D. Drew with snow or batteries.

You get thrown out of a game for getting into a physical fight with an eight-year-old girl because she held up a sign that stated, "If I were three times my current age, I still wouldn't have been alive to see Philly win a championship. Go Dallas."

If you happen to complete two of listed items above, send me an e-mail and I will personally deliver you a certificate stating that you are a true Philadelphia fan.

Until then, even if you aren't really a Philly fan, just make believe that you are. It will save you thousands of dollars in medical bills.

Brett Fischer is a junior majoring in communications.